Comment on a summary

SUMMARY – Europe already has one foot in ‘Japanese’ deflation policy      

(The Telegraph)

            What happened in Japan some years ago is now happening in Europe. Deflation has arrived and with it all of its inconveniences. A serious wariness about how to sustain the Eurozone and its debt rates is now exploding and a tense atmosphere can ne breathed Europe. Although the whole EU is immersed in this critical economic situation, different countries are approaching this situation in various ways. For example, the known as PIIGS are implementing austerity policies without offsetting any monetary stimulus. This directly affects the population by growing of the unemployment rates and basic care needs. Why is this happening to the PIIGS? Because of the “denominator effect” this means that debt is growing faster than nominal GDP. On the other side there is Germany that apparently is not doing bad, but is also at risk because of one the possible solutions that is being considered is that “Club Med” gets together with Germany so that it can implement the relation policy. Another possible solution could be inflation, but for the moment the option governments, politicians, economists … are taking is to hope for global growth to save us.

What happened in Japan some years ago is now happening in Europe. Deflation has arrived and with it all of with all of its inconveniences. A serious wariness about how to sustain the Eurozone and its debt rates is now exploding and a tense atmosphere can ne breathed Europe. Although the whole EU is immersed in this critical economic situation, different countries are approaching this situation in various ways. For example, the known as PIIGS are implementing austerity policies without offsetting any monetary stimulus. This directly affects the population by growing of the unemployment rates and basic care needs. Why is this happening to the PIIGS? Because of the “denominator effect” this means that debt is growing faster than nominal GDP. On the other side there is Germany that apparently is not doing bad, but is also at risk because of (??) one the possible solutions that is being considered is that “Club Med” gets together with Germany so that it can implement the relation policy. Another possible solution could be inflation, but for the moment the option governments, politicians, economists … are taking is to hope for global growth to save us.

• The student could have written a short introduction mentioning the author of the text, the newspaper and the date. This gives us an overview of what the article is about.
• The summary could have been divided into separate paragraphs. That would make it easier to read. 
• The student could have explained what the PIIGS are (because someone is reading this for the first time and probably does not know about "the PIIGS")
  
  
  
• I am not sure what the author wanted to say with "can ne breathed Europe". I suggest rewriting it.
• "the known as PIIGS" -->something is missing. I would suggest writing: "The countries know as PIIGS" or similar.
• "Because of the “denominator effect” this means that debt is growing faster than nominal GDP.". I would suggest rewriting the whole sentence as it is not quite clear. Maybe write: "Because of the “denominator effect” dept is growing faster than nominal GDP."
• "On the other side there is Germany that apparently is not doing bad, but is also at risk because of (??) one the possible solutions that is being considered is that “Club Med” gets together with Germany so that it can implement the relation policy." 
• I would suggest rewriting the sentence as it is clearly too long and a little bit confusing. I do not understand what is meant with “because of one the possible solutions…”.
• “to get together” is not high register. Consider writing something like “pair up”, “the unification of” or “unite”.
• Maybe divide this long sentence into two sentences.
• On the other side there is Germany that apparently is not doing bad, but is also at risk because of (somthing??). One possible solution is that “Club Med” pair up with Germany to implement the relation policy.   

• Be careful with "..." in a high register text.
  

Other than that the text gives me a general overview of what the original article is about.  The anonymous author mentioned important arguments and stayed focused on the topic. The student seems to have understood the main points of the text and remained impersonal.

The Concil of Europe

The Concil of Europe

The Council of Europe is the most important organisation besides the European Union in Europe. It was founded in 1949 by ten European states in order to promote democratic stability, human rights, the rule of law and fundamental freedoms all over Europe. The Council further strives to raise awareness of Europe’s cultural identity and diversity. Currently there are 47 members, including all EU member states as well as several other European countries. The general requirements for a country to join this international organisation are to be at least partially located on the European Continent and to share the goals the ten founding countries stated. However, countries that are located beyond European borders can join too, as observer or partner, provided they accept the Council’s guiding principles. These states are permitted to send representatives to the meetings of the Committee of Ministers and intergovernmental committees in order to observe these assemblies. With the Parliamentary Assembly, which consists of 318 men and women from all the member states,  they may attain observer status, meaning that they are authorized to engage in Assembly sessions, only without voting rights. Furthermore the Council also partners up with organizations such as the EU, the UN and a variety of international organizations, including the Arab League Educational, Cultural, Scientific Organization (ALECSO) or the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE). The main purpose of the Council, with it’s members, observers and partners, is to assure democracy in and cooperation between all European countries, which makes this organisation one of the most important on our continent.

Surprising Europe

Surprising Europe

Housing Conditions

As the Eurasian primary destination for immigration, Europe finds itself swarmed with hordes of illegal

African migrants desperately searching for living conditions. Unfortunately, those people are often exploited not only in terms of work, but also when it comes to housing conditions. Sometimes they even end up in a worse situation than in their home countries, because after destroying their papers, to avoid deportation, they are no longer protected by any national law. This is best shown in the example of Paris, one of Europe’s biggest melting pots, where almost 90% of the African immigrants occupy unsafe buildings. It is common for up to three people to live in an apartment of no more than 10m², that is approximately the size of a below average bathroom, without radiator or access to hot water. Despite these

unsanitary circumstances the rents continue to increase. Apart from that, the majority of these buildings show incredible deficiencies in the construction. Such as, dilapidated structures missing fire extinguishers and the complete absence of smoke detectors or emergency exits. More than once such constructional defects resulted in devastating fires, causing numerous deaths. In order to combat these grievances various organizations have been founded, for instance the French “Malaika” company (means “angel” in Arabic). Regarding these developments the original objective of elevating one’s life standard is rarely achieved and the situation is even continuing to aggravate.

EU individual paragraph

Paragraph brainstorming

Original paragraph

Each year the European Union (EU) announces a new focus for the coming year. As it is very important to choose a serious topic to focus on, the EU carefully decides what would be the most worthwhile topic to concentrate on throughout the year. The Confederation of Family Organisations in the European Union (COFACE), which supports the well-being of families, proposed that 2014 should be the year to improve the quality of the lives of European citizens. After receiving several positive reactions from the European Parliament and the European Commission, the COAFCE started the campaign "European Year for Reconciling Work and Family Life" for 2014. This topic is considered to be of growing importance, as inequality, social exclusion, and high levels of unemployment constitute the main issues nearly every family is facing today. The campaign will have four core themes, which aim to address and remedy these issues. All in all I consider the 2014 European Year to be truly useful because it not only plans on ensuring work family life balance and improving social integration, but also continues pursuing policy aim from the previous years.

[186 words]

Feedback summary 1

• Change the topic sentence (mention the focus in the topic sentence)
• Leave out or change second sentence

I decided to rewrite the whole paragraph because I did not like the first version after reading over it.

Second Paragraph

Each year the European Union (EU) announces a new focus and they designated 2014 to be the European Year for Reconciling Work and Family Life. As there are several matters that need addressing, it is very important to choose a serious topic to concentrate on throughout the year. Inequality, social exclusion, and high levels of unemployment constitute the main issues nearly every family is facing today. Therefore, the Confederation of Family Organisations in the European Union (COFACE) proposed that 2014 should be the year to improve the quality of the lives of European citizens. After receiving a number of positive reactions from the European Parliament and the European Commission, the COAFCE started the campaign for 2014. The campaign will have four core themes, which aim to address and remedy the above mentioned issues. Besides planning on ensuring work family life balance and improving social integration, the organizations also continues pursuing policy aims from the previous years. All in all the 2014 European Year is going to be truly useful as it provides a great opportunity to concentrate on work and family life balance policies at the same time.
[188 words] 

Feedback summary 2

• Leave out “and” in the topic sentence à rewrite it
• Several matters --> unclear
• Second sentence to general
• Second sentence: I found out that “need to be addressed” is used more frequently than “need addressing” (especially in academic texts).
• Rewrite the concluding sentence
• In my final paragraph I want to have the exact word count

Final paragraph

The European Union (EU) decided to designate 2014 as the European Year for Reconciling Work and Family Life. Throughout the year they are going to focus on family life balance policies and work, as inequality, social exclusion, and high levels of unemployment constitute the main issues nearly every family is facing today. Therefore, the Confederation of Family Organisations in the European Union (COFACE) proposed that 2014 should be the year to improve the quality of the lives of European citizens. After receiving a number of positive reactions from the European Parliament and the European Commission, the COAFCE started the campaign for 2014. The campaign will have four core themes, which aim to address and remedy the above mentioned issues. Besides planning on ensuring work family life balance and improving social integration, the organizations also continues pursuing policy aims from the previous years. All in all the 2014 European Year is going to be truly useful as it provides a great possibility to resolve the increasing conflict between family and work life with whom families all over Europe have to deal.

[180 words] 

Corrected final paragraph
The European Union (EU) decided (tense) to designate 2014 as the European Year for Reconciling Work and Family Life. Throughout the year they are going (tense) to focus on family life balance policies and work, as inequality, social exclusion, and high levels of unemployment constitute the main issues nearly every family is facing today. Therefore (ref.?), the Confederation of Family Organisations in the European Union (COFACE) proposed that 2014 should be the year to improve the quality of the lives of European citizens. After receiving a number of positive reactions from the European Parliament and the European Commission, the COAFCE started the campaign for 2014. The campaign will have four core themes, which aim to address and remedy the above mentioned (punct.) issues. Besides planning on ensuring work family life balance (punct.) and improving social integration, the organizations also continues pursuing policy aims from the previous years. All in all the 2014 European Year is going to be truly useful as it provides a great possibility (MNN) to resolve the increasing conflict between family and work life with whom families all over Europe have to deal.

The European Union (EU) has decided to designate 2014 as the European Year for Reconciling Work and Family Life as a way to ensure the balance on family life and work. Today families face certain obstacles such as inequality, social exclusion, and high levels of unemployment. Therefore, the Confederation of Family Organisations in the European Union (COFACE) proposed that 2014 should be the year to improve the quality of the lives of European citizens. After receiving positive feedback from the European Parliament and the European Commission, the COFACE started the campaign for 2014. The campaign will have four core themes, which aim to address and remedy the above-mentioned issues. Besides ensuring work/family life balance and improving social integration, the EU also continues pursuing policy aims from the previous years, such as to make people aware of the many ways they can take advantages of the EU. All in all the 2014 European Year is going to be truly useful as it provides a great opportunity to resolve the increasing conflict between family and work life with which families all over Europe have to deal. 

The European Union - Five related topics

1.) Environment within the EU (EAP)
A topic that, to my mind, is becoming increasingly important, is the EU related to the environment. Pollution is a serious issue worldwide, but why do we need environmental policy? I read a number of articles and have dealt with this subject a few times so it seems to be just the right topic for me. It would be challenging and exciting to find out how the EU deals with pollution and how they are connected to environment protection. What are they doing in order to protect our planet? Are they doing anything? Are there any programs/organizations to stand up against pollution? Are there any events arranged in behalf of the environment?
I would like to write about the environmental protection in the EU because this is a topic that has always been of great importance for me. It fascinates me how some people put all their effort in protecting our planet and their dedication truly touches me. I am thinking about much more that my academic paper will cover, but this is just a little foretaste. I am working on a draft for my work and I will try to focus on one specific topic I want to dwell on.

2.) The EU and Croatia
As I was thinking about some possible topics for my academic paper related to the EU, the first thought that crossed my mind was the newest and youngest member of the EU - Croatia. I was thinking about what could actually be interesting for me and due to the fact that my parents were born in Croatia and I am a Croatian citizen, it would pretty sure be the most interesting topic for me. It would be exciting to find out, what's the background behind Croatia becoming a member of the EU, as it is my home country. In this topic I am planning to analyze why it had become a member? What criteria have to be fulfilled in order to become a member state? Why did they want to become a member? Has something changed since then? If yes, what? If not, why? Are there going to be great changes? When will the "Kuna" be replaced by the "Euro"? Will they be able to adopt the Euro as its currency?

3.) Campaign for 2014
The focus on the coming year 2014 is the wealth of families and their work-life balace. The year is designated as the European Year for Reconciling Work and Family Life. The COFACE stand up for equality, aim to ensure work family life balance, improve social integration and address child and fimily poverty. These are all very interesting topics to be concerned with. In my academic paper I would like to present the aims of this organization, their current process and answer some important questions some might have on this campaign.

4.) Abortion law within the EU
The abortion law is regulated by law all over the world and is of great importance for woman. Since I have dealt with this topic over the summer (it was one of my KGP topics), I would really like to write my academic paper about it to acquire even more knowledge about this interesting topic. How is abortion regulated by law in the countries within the EU? Are they same in every country? Why is the abortion law so restrictive in Ireland, even though Ireland is in the EU?

5.) Jobs in the EU 
It is well known that it is not so easy to gain and keep a job in Brussels for instance. How "good" do you have to be, to be able to work for the EU? Even though I would like to start with EU jobs in general, in this topic I will especially refer to the translation jobs within the EU, as this will probably be my future job. Which languages are in high demand? How can someone get such a great job as a translator?

These are my five topics that I've chosen. I've come up with some ideas how to make a structure but I am still kinda undecided which topic is the most interesting and suitable for me. It is not easy to decide which topic I want to write about in my academic paper due to the fact that the EU is an environment that inspired me with a incredible amount of great ideas. Please let me know which topic you like the best! Thanks ;)

My Homemade Apple Chips

Today I was craving for a snack while studying and I figured out why not make healthy chips? Are you asking yourself what I am talking about and how the hell chips can be healthy?! Well, continue reading and I will show you how ;)

Take two or three ripe apples (depends on how big they are).

First remove the core from the apple. 

Next cut the apples into round slices.

Apply baking paper on the baking sheet and place the apple slices on it.

Sprinkle the slices with cinnamon.

Preheat the oven to 100°C and bake the apple slices for one hour. Then remove them from the oven and flip them over. The apples will be floppy but don't worry, they will crisp up later.

Return the apple slices into the oven and bake for another hour. Turn the oven off and let cool completely inside the oven (this is when they will crisp up).

Once they've cooled, enjoy! This is perfect as a totally guilt free snack while studying ;)

There are various ways you can serve them. I also tried them with yogurt, cinnamon and cashews and I can totally recommend it!

Most fascinating places on earth!

Once again I am fascinated by the wonderful places that characterize our world! I am determined to visit the most famous and amazing places at least once in my life. My greatest wish would be to travel around the world, visit all the sights from the various countries. Getting to know the country's culture means to live it and to immerse oneself in the culture. I love different ways of life and I totally could picture myself discovering new and inspiring things.

Here are some of the most breathtaking places I would like to visit:

Flower Fields, Holland

The striking colors of the flowers are a typical sight in Holland during the spring. The bright red, pink, yellow and blue colors are overwhelmingly beautiful and are definitely a must see!

Salar De Uyuni, Bolivia

Salar de Uyuni is the world's largest salt flat at 10,582 square kilometers. Isn't it impressive?!

Mendenhall Glacier, Alaska

It is a glacier that's approximately 19 kilometers long and is located in Medndenhall Valley in Alaska.

Bamboo Forest, Japan

The beautiful Bamboo Forest of Kyoto is both peaceful and naturally aesthetic. Bamboo is an exotic, giant grass and a rich and fascinating part of Japanese culture.

Naica Mine, Mexico

The Naica Mine is a working mine that is best known for its extraordinary selenite crystals that are discovered during mining operations. 

Mount Roraima, South America

Mount Roraima is a truly remarkable creation as it has 400-meter tall cliffs on all sides. It is the tallest of the Pakaraima Chain in South Africa and borders Venezuela, Brazil and Guyana. Many of the plants that grow on the top of this mountain are found nowhere else on earth.

Pamukkale, Turkey

This beautiful and unique place is open to visitor, making it seen as one of the top unusual tourist destinations in the word.

Plitvice Lakes, Croatia

The Plitvice Lakes, located in Plitvice Lakes National Park, are one of the first places to be declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Every year over 1.2 million tourists from all over the world travel to Croatia to admire the lakes. What makes the cascades so special is that they are all connected and follow the same flow. It is a remarkable and unique sight to see and I can definitely recommend visiting it because this is one of my To-Visit-Places I've already seen. It's well worth visiting!

This are the Plitvice Lakes in winter.

As I already mentioned, these are just a few places I would like to see. There is an infinite number of amazing places in the world that are breathtaking and worth a visit :)